Canceled Cycle

The words a fertility patient never wants to hear.

I was scheduled to have my embryo transfer September 8. I started on transfer meds (tons and tons of estrogen) and went in for my blood work and ultrasound.

Blood work came back great, but when it came to my ultrasound the first words out of her mouth were, “wow pattern looks great” and being this isn’t my first go around, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to hear… I wanted to hear, “wow lining is measuring great” but it wasn’t… it was measuring 5.9mm and if you’re new the infertility world, 5.9mm for a transfer is an absolute no go.

So I was told to continue taking my meds, and to come in again in 3 days for another check.

3 days go by, and I head back to USCF. My palms are sweaty, belly is nervous, and deep down in my heart, I KNEW I wasn’t going to get good news. The RN came in and began my ultrasound, yet again, “you have a really beautiful pattern” but still not a mention on my lining thickness. So I ask, “ & how’s my lining measuring?”

She looks at me with sadness in her eyes, “I’m sorry sweetie, still measuring 5.9mm” she then says she will be grabbing the dr on call to go over my results in depth. He just kept saying over and over “you’re not even at a 6” I felt my eyes filling with tears, and as I hard I tried, I couldn’t keep them from flowing. My husband got up, and held my hand, and put his arms around me. The doctor asked me if I wanted to come back in a few days for another follow up, even though he didn’t think at this point my lining would change. So I declined to waste even more time. And at this point he said the words no one ever wants to hear, “your transfer cycle is canceled.”

I can’t help but wonder why… why me? Why now? My first transfer went well. Why isn’t it working this time? So many questions, that I’ll never get the answers to. So for now, I’m staying hopeful, trying to keep busy, and trusting in the Lord’s plan.